the giver of gifts has been revealed....

it was scott. the flowers i so beautifully and proudly put in my window. the note that was so mysterious. it was all scott. the man who broke my heart by betraying me. the man who allowed himself and his new mistress to be caught in my bed. the man i moved across an ocean to avoid. he found me. and he got to me. i thought it had been someone else.

he showed up at my door today. since i knew he had flown such a far way to see me, i held the door open only for a moment before slapping him and slamming the door in his face. he rang it for quite some time before leaving. there was a note though. it said the gifts had been from him and he was sorry and he missed me and he loved me and blah blah blah. i didn't even finish reading it. it was torn to pieces by the third sentence. 

i absolutely was not expecting that. i think it has thrown me for more of a loop than i ever thought was possible. i refused to cry. so instead i drank. probably not the best choice. but it did the trick. i drank and i put on my favorite mix on my ipod and i danced. naked in my living room. and sang. until my throat hurt. it made me feel alive again. it made me love the choices i made. i hadn't even given him the chance to say a single word to me. i won.

i know he will come back. it isn't like him to give up. not his style. the musician has asked me to come with him on tour for a while. i think i might take him up on that. maybe for a week. it will be the perfect escape. might even be a little bit fun. but honestly, i don't think anything could beat dancing naked in the moonlight in my living room....