The beginning of a new era....

As New Years looms closer and closer, I have found myself inspecting my life under a microscope. In many ways I like what I see: I enjoy my work, I have friends who are supportive and my family is, well, they are as they will always be. What I am finding downfalls in however, is, like most women of my age who are not yet married, my ability to have a functioning relationship with a man. At first I blamed myself, feeling broken and ashamed as it seems every person around me is constantly talking weddings and babies, but I have decided to take a different approach. I am not going to let myself feel bad about being alone. There said it. (The more I am able to say it, the more I actually start to believe it). Instead I thought I would embrace my single-ness and have a laisez-faire attitude instead of a fastest-one-to-get-married-wins approach. This in itself has brought me far more comfort than I could have ever imagined. I feel like a great weight has been lifted.  It makes me very optimistic for the new year.

So for fun, I thought I would post an ad on a personals site. Now this is something I normally do not do, but I thought it could be fun. And an hour later, I am actually very surprised by all of the replies I have received thus far. (And one picture I wish I hadn't opened!!) I had no idea that there were so many people trolling the internet for dates. And it isn't as though this site is a specifically for dating sight. Perhaps there are far more lonely people out there than I realized. Everyone looking a kiss for New Years. The oddest part of all of this is that I don't think I could actually meet any of these people. Now it wouldn't be any different than meeting someone at a bar or a work thing, but I think with the ever evolving capability to communicate without seeing someone, everyone begins to take on a new persona. I (like I'm sure most of the population) find it far easier to talk without being seen. So to meet someone, and chat without seeing them, and then to finally meet face to face, frankly scares the crap out of me. It is far too easy to build up an idea of someone in your head that it can be nothing less than incredibly devastating to realize they do not meet your potential for them. Maybe that is why I am still single.....